How appropriate that here in Michigan (aka the Auto State), a funeral home announces a new service: Drive by viewings.  No, really.  I read it in today’s news.

For the person “on-the-go.”

What do you think of that?  Wait . . .  Are those stereo speakers in the coffin.  Will they be playing music for the dearly departed.  Can you imagine a future archeologist digging up the remains in an effort to understand our current culture?  What will she think if opening the coffin is accompanied by the sounds of heavy metal?  Perhaps it will sound as tame and lame laid-back as big band music sounds to us today.  [Shudder]

Perhaps cremation is a better idea, but that has it’s draw-backs too.  Some time ago, I received the following in an e-mail.

A news article from a Florida Newspaper:

When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was "generic white cardboard box filled with grayish-white powder." (That at least is the way the police described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, "that it looked similar to cocaine, and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time."

Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars, "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

Well, the next morning the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too with about half of Gertrude's ashes remaining, and there was this note which read, "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."

No doubt that’s an urban legend.  I like it anyway.  There have been cases of not-so-bright burglars (is there any other kind?) who snorted cremains.

Suddenly I feel the need to take a nice hot shower.