I enjoy sharing with you some of the gems that find their way into my e-mail inbox. The other day, my friend Roy sent me two that I immediately flagged for sharing.
Worse Than Bed Bugs!
What are calories? Calories are the little bugs that get into your wardrobe at night and sew your clothes tighter. MY CLOSET IS INFESTED WITH THE LITTLE MONSTERS.
Why “The Bank” Needed Help From the Feds
A lady died this past January, and “The Bank” billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to “The Bank”.
Here is the exchange :
Family Member : ‘I am calling to tell you she died back in January.’
“The Bank” : ‘ The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.’
Family Member : ‘Maybe you should turn it over to collections.’
“The Bank” : ‘Since it is two months past due, it already has been.’
Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?’
“The Bank” : ‘Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau , maybe both!’
Family Member : ‘Do you think God will be mad at her? ‘
“The Bank” : ‘Excuse me?’
Family Member : ‘Did you just get what I was telling you – the part about her being dead?’
“The Bank” : ‘Sir, you’ll have to speak to my supervisor.’
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member : ‘I’m calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.’
“The Bank” : ‘ The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.’
Family Member : ‘You mean you want to collect from her estate?’
“The Bank” : (Stammer) ‘Are you her lawyer?’
Family Member : ‘No, I’m her great nephew.’ (Lawyer info was given)
“The Bank”: ‘Could you fax us a certificate of death?’
Family Member : ‘Sure.’ (Fax number was given)
After they get the fax :
“The Bank” : ‘Our system just isn’t setup for death. I don’t know what more I can do to help.’
Family Member : ‘Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won’t care.’
“The Bank”: ‘Well, the late fees and charges will still apply.’
(What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member : ‘Would you like her new billing address?’
“The Bank” : ‘That might help….’
Family Member : ‘ Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plot Number 69.’
“The Bank” : ‘Sir, that’s a cemetery!’
Family Member : ‘And what do you do with dead people on your planet???’
(Priceless!!)
And you wondered why “The Bank” needed help from the Feds?
I have had to deal with companies that were just as quick to understand as “The Bank.” Have you ever had an experience like this?
I have had conversations like that- never something as final as death I don't think. I wish I had written some of them down!
Oh dear…priceless
Great dialogue, but unfortunately a lot less funny when you are having this conversation with a service provider.
Oh "The Bank" story is very funny, but very depressing at the same time. I, too, have had numerous, insanity-riddled conversations with "The Bank," "The Phone Company," "The Customer Service," etc.
What IS it with people, seriously? I mean, how can a person like "The Bank" people be so mechanical? How can "the lady has died" just not register? :-p