In the Auto State

How appropriate that here in Michigan (aka the Auto State), a funeral home announces a new service: Drive by viewings.  No, really.  I read it in today’s news.

For the person "on-the-go."

For the person “on-the-go.”

What do you think of that?  Wait . . .  Are those stereo speakers in the coffin.  Will they be playing music for the dearly departed.  Can you imagine a future archeologist digging up the remains in an effort to understand our current culture?  What will she think if opening the coffin is accompanied by the sounds of heavy metal?  Perhaps it will sound as tame and lame laid-back as big band music sounds to us today.  [Shudder]

Perhaps cremation is a better idea, but that has it’s draw-backs too.  Some time ago, I received the following in an e-mail.

A news article from a Florida Newspaper:

When Nathan Radlich's house was burgled, thieves left his TV, his VCR, and even left his watch. What they did take was "generic white cardboard box filled with grayish-white powder." (That at least is the way the police described it.) A spokesman for the Fort Lauderdale police said, "that it looked similar to cocaine, and they'd probably thought they'd hit the big time."

Then Nathan stood in front of the TV cameras and pleaded with the burglars, "Please return the cremated remains of my sister, Gertrude. She died three years ago."

Well, the next morning the bullet-riddled corpse of a drug dealer known as Hoochie Pevens was found on Nathan's doorstep. The cardboard box was there too with about half of Gertrude's ashes remaining, and there was this note which read, "Hoochie sold us the bogus blow, so we wasted Hoochie. Sorry we snorted your sister. No hard feelings. Have a nice day."

No doubt that’s an urban legend.  I like it anyway.  There have been cases of not-so-bright burglars (is there any other kind?) who snorted cremains.

Suddenly I feel the need to take a nice hot shower.

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About Chuck

I am retired after a career in electronics and in publishing. Today, my wife of 50+ years, Sylvia, and I live in a house on a hill beside a dirt road in rural west Michigan. We enjoy living in this country environment where livestock and wild life out number the human population.

12 thoughts on “In the Auto State

  1. I read something about drive by viewings years ago (maybe 12) in a fiction book when I was a kid. Not surprised that it’s actually a thing now, but think it’s kind of ridiculous. When you have a funeral it’s to spend time with that persons loved ones and remember the person. It’s hardly paying respect to them to drive by. It’s just not the same. This will either be one of those things that crashes and burns or takes off really fast. I’m hoping it’s the first one. Got a chuckle out of the Gertrude story though!

    • It is not unusual for fiction to become fact. It’s really neat how the concept born in the creative mind of a writer grows and develops in the practical mind of an engineer.

      Glad you liked Gertrude. The two stories seem to go together, at least the do to me.

  2. My mom always said if you don’t have something nice to say…

    I’m biting my tongue on this one. I do think it’s abhorrent and disrespectful and I hate it. Okay….I have never been good at keeping mum (sorry to my mum). 😉

  3. Maybe this is the beginning of the end of “viewings.” When I was growing up in Colorado, we went to funerals, but not to funeral homes to chit-chat and look at the deceased. I liked that!

    • Our culture has changed a lot during our lifetimes. After watching the Ray Stevens music video, I wouldn’t want to sit up with the dead for an all-night wake. :rolleyes:

  4. I like Sharkey’s comment. Poor Gertrude. 🙁

    I am not surprised by weddings or funerals anymore–it seems anything goes. But, hey, if people are elderly and can’t get out of the car, or ebola is in the ‘hood…I’m all about the drive up. Will that little collection basket pop out towards your car for the condolence cards too?

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