E-Mail Diary ~ It’s Soooo Hot!

I’ve known Clarence since we were in elementary school.  We frequently send each other e-mail messages.  I always look forward to Clarence’s bits of wisdom.  This one seems particularly timely given the warm weather that we are experiencing these days.
 
It’s Soooo Hot!

The birds have to use pot-holders to pull worms out of the ground.
 
The trees are whistling for the dogs.
 
The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
 
Hot water now comes out of both taps.
 
You can make sun tea instantly.
 
You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
 
The temperature drops below 95 F (35 C) and you feel a little chilly.
 
You discover that it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
 
You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
 
You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
 
You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
 
Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, “What if I get knocked out and end up
 lying on the pavement and cook to death?”
 
You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
 
The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and add
 butter, salt and pepper.
 
Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
 boiled eggs.
 
The cows are giving evaporated milk.
.

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About Chuck

I am retired after a career in electronics and in publishing. Today, my wife of 50+ years, Sylvia, and I live in a house on a hill beside a dirt road in rural west Michigan. We enjoy living in this country environment where livestock and wild life out number the human population.

6 thoughts on “E-Mail Diary ~ It’s Soooo Hot!

  1. Funny stuff. Hopefully this heat will be gone by tomorrow. I don't want it cold, but a good temperature in the middle would be nice at least sometimes.

  2. My favorite:

    You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.

    I have had that happen so many times!
    Apparently I'm a slow learner 🙂

  3. Pretty cute, but "You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m" is the part that will keep me forever from living in the south.

  4. Oh, yes, we do relate to this. Today, if the prognosticators are right, will be our 32nd 90 degree day this summer… and it has been worse in other locales.

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