Okay, I’m not a mom. However, I did have one, and I’m married to one. It’s that time of year when we celebrate moms and all they mean to us. I’ve been thinking about my mother, the mother of my two sons and the mother of my granddaughter.
Monday, my blogger bud, Lin, posted Only a on her blog. In her usual witty and insightful way, she shared her view of being a mother today. Hey, I’m only a dad, but I enjoyed it.
Within minutes of reading that story, I received an e-mail from Sylvia’s cousin in North Carolina. Rich is a retired police officer and one of my favorite e-mail buds. We exchange a lot of messages, stories and humorous tidbits. I wanted to share with you the content of that message. Here it is:
“What I mean is,” explained the recorder, “do you have a job, or are you just a …..?”
“Of course I have a job,” snapped Emily. “I’m a mother.”
“We don’t list ‘mother’ as an occupation…’housewife’ covers it,” said the recorder emphatically.
I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Town Hall. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high – sounding title like “Official Interrogator” or “Town Registrar.”
“What is your occupation?” she probed.
What made me say it, I do not know. The words simply popped out.
“I’m a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.”
The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in midair, and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly, emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire.
“Might I ask,” said the clerk with new interest, “just what you do in your field?”
Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, “I have a continuing program of research (what mother doesn’t) in the laboratory and in the field (normally I would have said indoors and out). I’m working for my Masters (the whole darned family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of- the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.”
There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk’s voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door.
As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants – ages 13, 7, and 3. Upstairs I could hear our new experimental model (6 months) in the child-development program, testing out a new vocal pattern.
I felt triumphant! I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than “just another mother.”
Motherhood…what a glorious career. Especially when there’s a title on the door.
Does this make grandmothers “Senior Research Associates in the Field of Child Development and Human Relations”, and great – grandmothers “Executive Senior Research Associates”? I think so!
I also think it makes aunts “Associate Research Assistants!”
So moms, how are your research projects going these days? I hope well. I also hope you have a very special Mother’s Day this year. For the rest of us it’s okay to celebrate mother any day and every day.
Excellent post….
Why do you think some of us opt out? We know we couldn't handle it….
Gotta love that Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.
I find it annoying, insulting and downright wrong that so many in society do not respect the job for what it is: the most important job in the world. And I'm only a Dad.
What Lin said!
When asked, I always say that I am currently working toward my Ph.D. in Domestic Engineering, with hopes of attaining a Doctorate.
That's a lovely photo. 🙂
It is a sad day when we have to try to make folks understand that being a mom is a job. It used to be, back in the day, but now women feel pressured to work outside the home to feel "successful". Bring back the old days, I say! We should be proud of motherhood as a career–especially these days when that is financially so difficult!
Love that picture of you and Mom, Chuck. She looks so young!!! Well, and so do you! 😉