With this ring . . .
I renew vows every. single. day. It’s taking in the garbage cans or cutting the lawn. It’s small kindnesses and forgiveness that show your commitment.
It started when our friend, Vanilla, posted Wedding Bands and Homemade Noodles on his blog. He talks about coming home from a stay in the hospital. His lovely wife brought him his wedding ring and said, “Let me put this ring on your finger again.” There’s more to the story. Click on the link to read it.
In response, our friend Lin said, “Sweet post today. I have never understood renewing your vows with a grand party and guests and fancy clothes and a big ballyhoo. I think you renew your vows every. single. day. I do. It’s taking the garbage cans in so he doesn’t have to…or cutting the lawn after work to make more relaxing time on the weekend. It’s small kindnesses and lots of forgiveness and letting things go that show your commitment.
Five years ago, as our 50th wedding anniversary was approaching, Sylvia and I began to talk about how we would celebrate the joyous occasion. Our son said, “Why renew vows if you never broke them?” I can’t disagree with that. We weren’t going to do that anyway. We did take a trip to Michigan’s upper peninsula. We saw a couple of places we had never seen but had wanted to for a long time.
A couple of years ago, I began to pray something like this, “Dear Lord, you know how much I love my wife. I tell her that several times each day. Now, Lord, I ask you to help me show through my deeds how much I love her.” After a couple of days (He waited to see if I was serious?), my answer came. “Keep your eyes open and you will see.”
I kept my eyes open and within an hour I saw what I could do. (Why didn’t I see it years before?)
What I’m saying is that if marriage is an institution, I don’t mind being institutionalized.
“Keep your eyes open and you will see.”
And I’ll never forget this.
When one’s eyes are closed, he does not see.
It’s comforting to see that we all think alike…it means I am not crazy…or you are all crazy with me. I like that and that is why I am glad we are all friends.
I have been following Vanilla’s journey lately and there is true love going on in his home. I know how much love can get you through–even when you are exhausted and not feeling well. Most times, love is what powers you. I know it does me.
I like what you wrote and I agree…it is good to be “institutionalized.”
I hope you realize that it was your comment on Vanilla’s blog that inspired this post. I should have also added, “If this commitment, then I want to be committed.”
It means a lot more to those of us who have met and know both Vanilla and JoAnn. They are so good for each other. As you say, “there is true love going on in [that] home.”
I think the common ground we share has certainly enriched our friendship. Vanilla was the first non-family-member follower of Secondary Rds. I’ll never forget that help that you gave me as I was getting started and all the encouragement you have sent this way. Thanks for being you and such a special friend. :tiphat:
It’s funny, but I think of you being the one who helped me. 🙂 I guess what matters most is that we have each other…and the others in our little band of blogging friends…otherwise known as Blog-posting Murderers
We did help each others. In the beginning, I was new and you were more experienced in this blogosphere. Some of the other areas of Internet tech were my strong area. You are right . . . the most important part is we have each other and our little band of Blog-Posting Murders.
Have a blessed Palm Sunday. I’ll be taking my bride someplace special for lunch that day. Maybe something super-special like Steak & Shake. :whaa:
Ah, if everyone felt that way, life would be so much nicer, especially for the kids. I was hit with a divorce I didn’t expect to happen (not in a million years) and one I didn’t want. I will never stop missing what I thought I had, but the facts are, it’s what I ‘thought’ I had. I was committed through every good and bad. Not everyone was…and there’s nothing you can do about it. It only takes one person to get a divorce going, you know. So now I pray, always, for God to help me to be a wonderful single mother. To give my kids all that they need to be fulfilled and strong in Him so they have a good foundation to draw from always. For Him to fill that missing gap of ‘dad’ that I can never do. And I wish my husband (which he still is for another three weeks) only the best, and I will love him for fifty years or more too, even if that love will not be returned. Distance helps. A lot. And I’ve got 1200 miles of it. 😉
And with that blubbering surprise (to me) of sentiment, I am shaking it off (what else can you do?) and headed over to read Vanilla’s post. 🙂
I was going to reply to this via e-mail. Unfortunately, we have been plagued with Internet problems today. I’ll try again soon. God bless you and help you understand that you are not alone.
Very sweet! Wishing you many committed, happy years in the future.
Thank you, Vee. It is good to be committed.
What a beautiful post, a wonderful prayer and the answer to same via opened eyes. And 55 years? What a lovely testimony to commitment. :up:
Thank you very much. As I wrote, it was inspired by your post and Lin’s response. :tiphat: